Start here –
Remove everything you’ve written till now. You might have torn your hair until now on some crap like the:
yada yada yada…
How’s that going so far?
Sounds like every other pitch you’ve heard?
Your ears starting to bleed yet?
No matter what is at stake – doesn’t matter how much you want your project to succeed and how much money you need, or how many customers you really, really want – I understand all that.. no matter what is at stake, do not fall under the pressure and start working on your pitch with your buttons up.
This means, don’t start from a sweaty, uptight space.
Always think of it as a conversation.
It’s a conversation.
Just a conversation.
So, now that you may have eased up, think about this:
What should your customer say to her friend when she is telling them about your project.
What do you want her to be telling.
Come up with words, ideas, scenarios, feelings… see what face of your project you get to see now.
Go deep down into emotions, the feelings she would feel and then share with her friend.
Think from their perspective, and start writing your pitch.
Second advise –
Keep the words simple. Keep the explanation simple.
Would the listener understand everything you’re writing within micro-seconds?
If not, you’ve forgotten that it’s a conversation. Rework your words.
And then, finally if it still doesn’t work – call me or write to me at firstname.lastname@example.org